Sitting here getting ready to do lesson plans for the week before I go play for a funeral. It’s pouring rain and intermittently thundering, so I’ve unplugged my computer. I woke up feeling like a truck ran over me — about how I’ve felt every morning for the last two weeks. I am very tired of being sick.
I laid in bed listening to the rain (I didn’t have to play for church this morning, fortunately) and trying to go back to sleep. I finally got up and proceeded to bite my husband’s head off when he asked what time the funeral was today. I apologized soon after, but I’m still feeling sad about it — maybe more guilty because of what he did later.
I apologized while we were eating breakfast and got a hug and a kiss. After I showered I was feeling more human (don’t you just wish you could stay in the shower when you’re sick?) and I was sitting at my computer trying to start my lesson plans (no, not done yet) and felt a blanket settle around my shoulders. My husband set a lighted candle on my desk and kept pottering around at his desk. I asked him why he was being nice to me since I’d snapped at him.
He said, “Because I know you’re trying to be good but you don’t feel good.”
Another hug and a kiss on my unhappy head, and he kept doing his thing. I went to make tea and saw my new cup I got yesterday at the (in)RLMN meetup.
“Created to be lovely”.
I initially picked that cup because I usually feel anything but lovely. Except when my husband tells me so. And then I realized I’d been anything but lovely to him. He’s got his own set of stress and isn’t feeling top-notch either, but I’d been whining around about how bad I felt and biting him (metaphorically), and hadn’t even asked how he was feeling this morning.
So I’m drinking tea out of this cup and hoping I can ingest a little loveliness of spirit along with the jasmine white…