Who was right?

I got this from Cranky Professor.

Capturing the best

What is it about good things that makes us want to possess them in some way?  I remember when I was little, every time I smelled something really good, I would keep sniffing and sniffing, and wishing I could taste whatever that smell was, as if tasting it would keep it there.  (No, it wasn’t always food.)  As an adult, I see something beautiful, like a white bird silvered against dark trees or blue water, and I want to draw it, stitch it, quilt it, have some form of it so I can see it always.  I want to hold my loved ones close and never let go.  I want beautiful music or great conversations with friends to stay in my ears.  Any time I experience something wonderful, I want to somehow bring it under my control, so I can experience it again whenever I want.  I don’t think I’m alone in this.

Why else would we have favorite recipes, music on our iPods, popular destinations, and art collectors?  People used to pay artists, chefs, and musicians to live in their houses and create masterpieces at their whims.  We have a bit of that now, with our plethora of music options, restaurants, and the Internet, where everything is almost immediately at our fingertips.  We surfeit ourselves constantly with a barrage of all our favorite pleasures, so that if we are momentarily bereft of one, we count ourselves put upon and abused, and think ourselves justified in complaining and heaping censure on those who are perceived of depriving us of our desire.

So what’s the point?  More of an observation than anything, actually.  I like good food, great music, and beautiful things as well as the next person.  Sometimes more — I can be a bit of a snob. 

I guess I’m just thinking, in the light of the recent events in Haiti (and before that it was somewhere else, and somewhere else again) — I wonder how much we could really do without if the need arose?  I think quite a lot, actually.  People manage to survive on miniscule amounts of food, water, sleep, and protection, and are often actually still happy.  I think my household is perenially short of money, yet we have a warm house, two cars that work well, good food (if the cook may say so herself), and a little extra for tea and hobbies.

It makes me wonder, if I did without trying that new recipe or getting a new pair of socks, could I send some more money to people who feel lucky to have a piece of scrap metal shielding them from the elements?  Or even less?  I’m reminded again of how far a bit of money can go in some parts of the world; how what we consider a pittance, pocket change, could make the difference between someone eating three meals a day or nothing.  Construction workers in Thailand make about $1.30 a day.  That’s a candy bar’s worth of rent, food, and clothing for their families.  What could I budget?  How can I make a difference?

If you think you have anything at all to give up (and trust me, we all do, especially if you have enough money to be reading this blog on your own computer), click on one of the links below and send some money to a place where it will buy someone the best-tasting food they’ve ever had (because without it they’d starve), play the sweetest music (of children’s voices, who would otherwise be crying), and paint the most beautiful picture — hope of continuing life.

Give up a little of your best to capture life for someone else.

http://doctorswithoutborders.org/

http://www.adra.org/

http://www.habitat.org/

http://www.ricebowls.org/home

http://water.org/

http://www.mycharitywater.org/

http://www.heifer.org/

http://www.invisiblechildren.com/home.php

http://www.operationsmile.org/

http://www.stjude.org/

http://www.childsplaycharity.org/index.php

http://www.strength.org/

http://love146.org/

http://www.freetheslaves.net/

http://www.twloha.com/

http://www.notforsalecampaign.org/

New Years

I know we all think about what the new year brings, whether it’s a new school year or a new calendar year.  I’m not making any resolutions, except to make this new year better than last year (and I can’t really believe last year is over already!).  Here’s a New Year’s greeting that is appropriate for the global citizens we all are:

(thanks to NASA)

Christmas Day in the Morning

colored lights

sparkling tinsel

carols in the snow

presents and food

.

but

.

He saw a world

dark, dreary

empty

hungry

its song disappeared

with broken promises

and awakened dreams

.

standing at the edge

of eternal space

time a cage

Omnipresence condensed into a single cell

Omnipotence a tiny helpless baby

Omniscience knowing nothing but instincts

– He didn’t have to be taught to cry –

.

falling through the void to earth

at some time he –

captured in a human body –

could not go back

.

from heavenly glory

to a cow shed

from Love, Light and Power

to—

Love

but dark and

(helpless)

.

shepherds, not angels — a carpenter, not God

a mother who was

too young to hold the Universe in her

womb

.

no different now

except His brothers shiver

in the cold

His sisters have no place to

go

and His children

sit

“getting in the Christmas spirit”

with

.

colored lights

sparkling tinsel

carols in the snow

presents and food

Swine flu

Haven’t heard much about swine flu lately — I guess it just got subsumed in the normal winter sniffles and colds.  That said, maybe this picture will help us remember to stay safe and healthy this Christmas!

Christmas Ballad

Baby once upon a time

Born down an alleyway

Abandoned

Warehouse full of rats

Cracked and

Musty bricks

Gangsters on the prowl outside

.

Cold and dirty screaming baby

In an alley he

Was the

Universe

.

Cared enough to

Come and scramble in

Stinking grime

Kick rusty tin cans

Hear squealing brakes and

Gunshots

.

Who loved a prostitute

Who treasured

Life enough to give it

Up

That baby in the street

DUI in Maine

I got this picture in an email and cracked up…it could work for a couple places…

How to tell if a Mainer has a DUI conviction

Whither Thou Goest

She stood,

a bride—

no bridegroom

but a still small voice…

“whither thou goest”

.

With God?

no one to

lean on but

a stumbling carpenter

who needed a

vision for his faith…

“whither Thou goest”

.

Who, God?

She birthed a

King—

a kingdom of golden hay,

the perfume of the stables,

the wrappings of silken burlap…

“whither Thou goest”

.

Where, God?

To Jerusalem for

three days

in His Father’s house;

With God

to Cana

drinking wine…

“whither Thou goest”

.

How far, God?

To the cross?

seeing God,

the King,

exalted

on a throne

of rough wood;

the Bridge

between

the bride

and her

God…

“whither Thou goest”

.

Even so

Come my

Kinsman-Redeemer,

my Son,

my Bridegroom,

.

my

God…

.

“whither Thou goest”

For Redmond

A poem written in college about my youngest piano student.  Hopefully the sentiment is not true anymore, given the last election results; over a year ago, now!

My little piano student

used to play on black keys;

now he uses them

only to name the white ones.

.

Any song using black

is “hard” now—

.

He doesn’t know yet

his face can’t always go

where mine could—

.

He only knows

once you’ve

passed the “baby” songs

it’s hard

to reach black

from

white,

.

and tension

separates

harmony

from reality.

Lots of deep thoughts

I couldn’t sleep last night.  I was upset because of the book (see previous post) I’d read, and thinking about that set me off on another whole train of thought, complete with three different songs in my head, lists of things I needed to do, remember, and think about today.  Writing them down, taking a hot shower, and drinking warm milk didn’t seem to help, so I finally got up to write some more.  It was about 5 AM anyway, although I didn’t have my church job today and wouldn’t have had to get up early.  Sigh.

Part of why I was up, though, was because of talking to a friend online about the book I’d read, and she mentioned a book that is changing her life while she’s spending time figuring out what she’s supposed to be doing with her life.  I’m sort of doing the same, although I have a definite goal I’m working toward in this time off from teaching.  But talking to her and reading that book kind of coalesced some questions I’ve been tossing around in my heard for a while.  No answers, just questions.

I’ve been wondering over the last couple-three years if I should be teaching high school, or even teaching at all.  And now, taking time off for a masters — in teaching — I’m still wondering.  I’m not a nice person when I teach.  At least, I haven’t been these last two years, and increasingly so.  In fact, I felt like I was approaching burnout.  I’m enjoying doing Pampered Chef, though, and I know why.  I don’t have to deal with people who don’t want to hear what I have to say, for the most part, and I’m not going to poor places, for the most part.  I can talk about the causes PC supports, but I don’t have to “get my hands dirty” or wear myself out supporting them directly.  In other words, it’s all very sterile when it comes to dealing with poverty.  At the same time, it is a business unlike other similar ones in that it does try to help people in several aspects of their lives, and I think it’s making a worthwhile effort.  But is it enough for a Christian?  Now we get to the whole crux of the matter.

A lot of my reluctance to turn my life fully over to Christ is because I don’t want to be invoncenienced.  I don’t want to give up anything.  I wasnt to read what I want, do what I want, spend my time how I want, and not “get my hands dirty” witnessing or living in hardship.  I know our money’s tight now, but when I read Paul and Petra’s blog I know we have a lot.  We talk about going overseas, but it’s to live there for the experience and the travel, not because we have a sense of mission.  I don’t even want to move out of my comfort zone here.  One of our church members was talking yesterday about how she tries to witness to everyone they work for, and how some people don’t call them back because they get offended.  I don’t have the faith to “jeopardize” my businesses enough to witness.  Probably the greatest insult one can give a true Christian is to say they’re not offending anyone.  Jesus offended people right and left; it’s why He was crucified!  And not only do I not have enough faith to risk my business, I don’t even have enough faith to give offerings!  We pay tithe (now), but another 10% on top of that?!?

It’s not just my Christian life, though — it’s my job too.  I want to go teach if I don’t have to go where people are poor and hate my guts because I’m the wrong color, but I get so upset over the treatment of anonymous people 250 years ago that I cry and can’t sleep.

Again, talk is cheap and doesn’t get my hands dirty.  Helping poor people is great, as long as it doesn’t cost me anything but lip service and a little time — freerice is an excellent example.

It all boils down to the fact that I’m inherently selfish.  I want to do the right thing, as long as it doesn’t hinder me from doing what I want or inconvenience me in any way.  That’s what someone else was saying yesterday at church — she realized she loves no one better than herself.  Not even God.  God help me!

So what do I do with my life?  Obviously I’m not going to figure it out today.

I can do Pampered Chef, teach in a good school, design quilts and sell them, or be a full-time piano teacher — all good and “non-dirty” jobs.  I can get my hands dirty — go as a missionary, teach in another inner-city school (God forbid!), witness to those around me.  Or I could do a combination of all of the above, at different times.

I really don’t know.  And I didn’t even factor being a parent in there, but that may be a topic for another late night.  In the distant future!